(miss)understood

Jean, our income auditor once ask my boss:

Jean: Do you know what is bread and jam?

My Boss: Huh? wat?

Jean: You are the bread, I'm the jam. Sandwiched between 2 people, the innocent party who got scolded for nothing.

Actually, I'm the jam. I get sandwiched between my colleagues, my boss, reservation team, finance team, sales team. I cover up everyone's ass. You got scolded by your senior, I simply reminded you not to anyhow upgrade or downgrade a guest. And what do I get in return? "Mind your own Business". I lost my cool and retaliate like a child, asking you to stop throwing any back log to me, only to discover that people like you are really taking me for granted. "It's your job wat!" For that particular moment, I was really ANGRY. Forget about ranking, even as a senior, am I not worthy of your respect? Am I suppose to just zip my mouth and clean your leftovers? Everyone do things halfway, expecting me to take over and complete them?

Your senior asked me why I got scolded too, I din even say a word. Sometimes, I wish I can speak freely. Casting aside all the consequences, ranking. Make myself heard. I don't get appreciated for the things I do for them. Maybe I'm in the wrong for covering up for them.

I hate myself for being so weak. Letting this small matter get to me the whole night. Perhaps, I haven't mature at all.

It's going to be another sleepless night.